Sunday, April 20, 2008

The only illness where you don't get a covered dish.

Am watching (while purging my magazines, because it's too painful to sit and really watch) Shadow Voices, a video put out by Mennonites about Mental Health. From the video:

it's okay to have AIDS, diabetes, cancer: yet the stigma for Mental Health exists.

Man, speaking of his brother: He'd rather tell me he's on crack than he's got schizophrenia.

************

When I was depressed, no one thought I might want a covered dish, or someone to come wash my dishes. (God bless Sally, who feeds me when I show up at her house and sometimes gives me food to take home.)

But when I think of the people that get months of meals when they give birth--a happy event that generally gets a lot of support. And when I send out an email saying that I am depressed, I get asked if I'm okay, awkwardly. I got more support when I broke up with Max than any time I have asked for help from depression.

If you know someone with depression:

  • offer them a meal, either in a restaurant or at your home, or take home.
  • If you have time, call them. See if they need help around the house.
  • YOU DO NOT NEED A DEGREE (even a GED) to be a friend to someone who is hurting mentally.
  • If you don't know what to do, talk to someone who might: your pastor, your mom, a friend who knows about mental health.
  • above all, REACH out. Send an email, a card, flowers. Prayer is great, but let that person KNOW that you are praying for them.

6 comments:

Holly said...

Mm...it's really funny how that is. ("It's okay to have AIDS...") I wonder why.

I've been dealing with depression this semester, and only two of my friends know, whereas I would never hesitate to tell my good friends if I had mono or something like that...of course, that'd be harder to hide, ha. (It was a comfort to read pink shoes n'at, especially to hear you talking openly about your depression.)

kurrabikid said...

I totally second your comments. In the past I've been guilty of not knowing what to say or how to react. Unfortunately, though, I've had a brush with depression myself this year and now it's me who could do with a break or two. The stigma surrounding mental illness really exists.

Gingers Mom said...

That was very insightful. And I think more people need to know what to do in that situation.

BabelBabe said...

you know, i have to disagree with you here. I have both been clinically depressed and given birth to enough children to know what constitutes a typical experience, and the last thing i needed as a depressive was what i would consider enabling. I needed to HAVE to feed myself, go on with daily life, go to work, etc.

and the thing i needed most as a new mom was physical support. no sleep, no time to eat, little time to yourself...

(as a depressive new mom, it gets tricky...)

Sarah Louise said...

Babs,

the thing about depression, whether it is clinical or temporary, post-menopausal or post-partum, brought on or exasperated by bipolar, ADHD or OCD, is that there is no typical experience. What I might want when I'm feeling crappy is totally different from what you might want, mainly b/c we are very different people.

I totally support physical help.

And if there's anything I can do for you as a new mom, give me a shout out.

xo,

SL

Unknown said...

Amen to this. There is still SUCH a stigma to it, and it's absurd. To say nothing of the belief many seem to carry that if you're coping, you're healed.